toy soldier

HATE MYSELF FOR BEING LIKE THIS

2012-02-06T04:26:00.000-08:00

Mood: Exhausted
Music: Beautiful World - Westlife
Quote: -

Okay, so today was the first day of AJC orientation.
And OG 31 WON FOR TODAY! (Y)
But only the games were fun la, the 1st mass dance was a complete disaster. There were so many people and the dance committee was like - okay, right, left,left, right, then kick, jump jump jump -
it was extremely confusing. Standing at the back and being blocked by so many tall people wasn't very helpful either.
Aiyah, but anyway, there were also a lot of people who stood there awkwardly. Oh well.
The second mass dance was very much easier.
The games were quite fun, it was mostly games that required teamwork.
No vigorous throwing of balls, thank goodness.
The cheers session was not as fun as expected, but it only lasted for awhile.

So... I don't know if I should say this, but I really hate myself for being so competitive.
There's this girl who is also in ****** who was from *** sec sch, and was the ** there. Same position. I think she *** in?
And I've been thinking that she will most probably be the ** of ******, given her erm...Idk, just got the feeling.
And I just feel really dispirited.
Idk why.
I know it's wayyyyyyy too early to say this, but well... I really hate myself for being so competitive.
I need to stop yearning for so many things, *** haven't even started for me, and I'm worrying about all these stupid useless things.
Breathe!

I am so thankful

2012-01-09T02:19:00.000-08:00

Mood: JOY
Music: -
Quote: -

I am so happy, thankful, relieved.
I didn't think I would go up to stage to receive my O level results.
When the PowerPoint slide showed the 4E results, I didn't think I would make it into the 51 crowd of people.
I was playing with my pen, holding shijia's hand and as the slides went on, and the number of people to receive their complimentary letter on stage dwindled, I was convinced that I would receive a score of 13 to 16.
And in that moment of anxiety, dread and anticipation,I saw my name on that big glorious screen.
Oh my god, I will never be able to forget that moment of deep joy.
I was so happy I almost cried, I couldn't believe it.
I am so thankful. So happy. So relieved.

I could see many people who were not called, sitting there and crying.
I'm sure I would cry too if I wasn't called. Though it wasn't like I was expecting myself to be called up on stage.
But I guess many people who were not called up on stage also received fabulous results like maybe 5 distinctions and a 9 pointer?
It's kind of possible actually.
Anyway, whatever it is, good or not to expectation result, I hope you all get into the course or tertiary institution of your choice! :D

Post O-level stress

2011-12-20T00:46:00.000-08:00

Mood: Scared
Music: -
Quote: -

Omg the more I think of it the more nervous I am.
I get even more depressed when I see people getting fabulous results.
I know, I'm suppose to be happy for them right. But the thing is, I know I will never be one of them. )))):::::
I think I'm going to get 13 - 16.
But there are alot of people like Jean, Yanteik and others thinking I'm going to get fantastic results like 8/9.
BUT I KNOW IM NOT! I'M NOT BEING HUMBLE OR LIKE DIGGING DEEPER INTO THE BLACK HOLE OF LOW SELF ESTEEM.
Its just that I can, well, just feel it la.
The amount of effort I put was well, around 13 to 16, I guess.
I'm never going up to the stage, I'm never getting into a good JC, I'm just going to take my results and run back home and cry.
Now I have a super strong feeling that I'm going to get B3 for pure geog. wtf%^$%6876110.
I think I'm going to rant to Junwei and Yitian when I meet them later. ):
I can just imagine the torturous day where I have to sit in the hall waiting and waiting, hoping for something that I know will never EVER HAPPEN!
I can just imagine how bad it feels when your friends sitting around you get called up to stage and then they come back with beaming smiles and reluctantly allow you to take a quick peep at their scores.
Then you'll (I mean I'll) go like,"walao."
And then they will say it in the most humble voice they can achieve,"It's nothing la, you'll confirm go up to stage. Maybe you got a 7/8, that's why it's taking so long. They always save the best for the last right?"
NO.

You say, maybe I shouldn't be thinking so much. But I think I described the scenario perfectly!

I am the chairperson of the last-minute-study-then-later-confirm-guilty-esp-for-O-level association.
Hi, want to join?
Membership fee?
Free.
Repercussions?
Expansive (egs. guilt, sorrow, regret, whining, disappointment, etc)

Holidays

2011-12-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

Mood: Bored
Music: -
Quote: -

"Life is an abstract painting, a surreal dream, a dying wish. At the end of it
all, we’re just trying to work out who we are and why we’re here."– Valeri Fandangle

Well, a whole lot of things happened in the past week, like going out shopping with Eunice, preparing POP presents (Yes, yours truly have started preparing POP presents. :D ), going to IMM SEVERAL times just to get what I need and also going to Ikea with Camille and Xiaowei for the POP presents. And also paying a visit to the vet.

Went out with Eunice to Orchard to shop and hanged around in F21. But well, the clothes there were either too large or just really ugly. There were a few nice ones that I found though. (:
Haha but we decided to go Far East to take a look and ZOMG, there were shoes selling for ten dollars! Haha, I guess Far East suited us better.

Was busy preparing POP presents for the next few days. Since I guess no one actually takes time to read this lonesome, boring blog, I shall post a few of my handicrafts here! (Yeap, the POP presents are handmade from air-dry clay!)

Not exactly the best artwork, but at least I spent some effort in it!

Lol, actually it's A LOT of effort because I have 19 stars to do.
And I still have 4 left. Sianzxz.

Went out with Cam and Xiaowei for the NJCOGZ concert and well, all I can say is that NJ reallyyyyy has a lot of mosquitoes. Or maybe I'm just allergic to their school. I always come back with mosquitoes bites!
Anyway, their concert was well, good and bad I guess?
There were some good performances like the Guzheng Ensemble and the Dizi solo, but there were others that wasn't as good.
And because it's the holidays and I have a lot of spare time, I tend to think too much and get very paranoid about the people around me. For example, weird uncles walking behind me, etc. So, I called G to accompany me home, haha.

Went out with Cam and Xiaowei again to Ikea and ended up luggging around a super duper heavy bag worth of 15 ceramic cups. We eventually divided the load but was still super heavy given the fact that there were more to that than just ceramic cups.
We shared meatballs in Ikea, haha.

Looks super good right?

Apple pie!

Okay, now here is the part that I want to seriously talk about.
I went to the vet.
I mean, I brought Yitian's hamster to the vet.
Well you see, Yitian was going to China and he asked me to help him take care of his hamsters. He has two hamsters, one female and one male. And because he didn't want to bring two cages to my house, he decided to put them together and they fought.
The poor little male hamster got injured.
DISCLAIMER: I am not blaming anyone in particular okay. Don't get so sensitive. (Or maybe I'm the one, lol)
Anyway, like I was saying (typing), I brought the hamster to the vet and the vet said it may never recover because the whole injury on his mouth is a tumor and she cannot perform surgery on the hamster because the injury is on its mouth which is reallllyy kind of sensitive.
I just hope that its not cancerous or something because the vet said if its cancer, the tumor may grow and prevent him from consuming anything and he will DIE OF HUNGER.
NOOOOOOOOOO ))))::::
And she said if this happens, I might as well put him to sleep.
))):::::
But of course, it isn't my hamster and it isn't up to me to decide.
But right now he doesn't seem to be really sick, and the tumor doesn't really seem to be growing (keeping my fingers crossed).
I have to clean his wound with the bottle of solution and powder the vet gave, twice a day, and feed him antibiotics and pain relief every night.
It just makes me so upset to see a poor little innocent thing suffering. ):

But let me just say that I am not blaming anyone. It is just unfortunate that accidents happen.
So, since I brought the hamster to the vet, I just wrote down my particulars and the receptionist gave me this.

Haha, cute right. Its like a little ID card. :D
I'm thinking of doing it myself for my xiao xiao and xiao pang.
Lol, I am that bored.

Well?

2011-11-18T04:19:00.001-08:00

Mood: -
Music: Everything - Michael Buble
Quote: -

Out of random boredness, yours truly have decided to start blogging again after a whole hiatus from blogger of about a year. So...do feel free STALK me, nah, I'm just kidding.